HASH SHIT: MONDAY 17^TH JULY 2006

HARES : BUDWANKER AND DONNA THE UNAMED

VENUE: PAPAGOU

RUN NUMBER……… they have a list online so go check if you care that much

SCRIBE: Fiery Tw*t

This is going to be an opinionated hash shit cos I am in a right strop it being my birthday and me being in the office an all…..better planning would have meant I was home with a hangover but it did not work out so here I am in the office keeping my head down cos I should have brought cakes for everyone but I didn’t …..

We had a hash last night set by Budwanker (the one with the well known sense of humour and big bright smile) and his fair assistant Donna ( or his TOOL as she has become known or Dingo Bitch as she later became).

They set it on the side of Hymmetos but had us all very confused cos we did not climb Hymmetos ….we did not even do our usual scramble over the Attiki Odos and we had a hash in 2 parts pre and post beer stop which brought us within touching distance of the cars and then sent us round on a loop the other direction…..very hard on the motivation sending the pack off away from the beer when they can almost touch it.

Good selection of hashers were available for embarrassment and punishment from Mountain Goat and his gorgeous wife Shag, to returnee Toe Rag, and newish hasher Christopher on a fab motorbike. Budwanker treated them all with the same disrespect and set us off with an ON ON with a shaky arm and some shaky trail laying, which meant we had a lot of traipsing round the back of churches looking for white flour in the rubbish tips and climbing through holes in fences following Rim Job’s arse and flowing locks….he looks just like an Italian footballer so he must know all the tricks of the trail eh?

Walkers were led off at a leisurely pace by Donna as Budwanker didn’t have enough flour to set the walkers trail…..poverty at the American Embassy….must be paying for all them spy satellites to check on North Korea?

After a short sharp trail through what is left of the forest we met up at the Beer Stop where the walkers gathered to help the runners pop the cans and then we flowed apart again as they went the easy way 2 minutes up the road back to the cars as we ran off into the sunset and another load of dogshit and signs from Papagou Council to keep the mountain clean……a bit late but better than nothing.

Toe Rag was the first home so being RA of the Lagos hash seems to have honed his running abilities and I came in next shortly rear ended by Up the Bumper, Bookmaker, Banger (without Mash) and Mr Christopher…….

So to the circle which was presided over by our own Strawberry Foreskin when he wasn’t interrupted by Lean Over who had to speak to him NOW….

He started on a sombre note by sending our best wishes and hopes for safe Hashing to the Beirut Hash now under fire and the crew of the HMS Illustrious ( who hashed with us around the Acropolis a few weeks back) sent to save the Brits.

Can’t Get Laid made a wonderful Beer Bitch and kept the DIOs coming fast and furious. Strawbs gave Donna the dog bowl and Budwanker the pisspot for the DIOs and we decided not to give them a grade cos we can be unpredictable sometimes too.

SF then abused his power in the circle by letting off steam against Athens taxi drivers and especially those ones at the airport that rip you off and abuse you roundly. We thought that poor Up the Bumper would get to carry the can again BUT NO SF awarded the DIO to Mountain Goat as he resembled the bastard taxi driver most closely. So if you see a taxi driver looking like Poseidon stop to tie your shoelace and let someone jump the Q….

Much was then made of Triple Sex, Martini Man, Golden Fleece and Sid Vicious as they are leaving us for Blighty and better education then we have been giving them….and we did not sing the usual leaving song due to their tender ears and gave em shandy to send them on their way.

Mr Christopher passed on the FRB helmet to Toe Rag as front runner and we had hoped it would wing its way to Lagos but Budwanker snaffled it back as we have lost so many of our awards recently he took an executive decision to keep it in the AHHH family. Watch this precedent as we have seen the consequences of American’s taking executive decisions ……..

I got a couple of DIOs and a very unsuitable T shirt from Mountain Goat which had such a X rated design on it even the rabbit had a fiery twat! Tickets are now on sale for out of hours viewing.

Donna stood in for Banger to pass on the Black Penis to Wet Dream as she has visitors so maximum embarrassment factor was the decider there.

Oh and the usual screech of brakes as Oxymoron turns up in office attire to finish 2 unclaimed DIOs for being late and being Oxy!

On Inn was Budwanker’s abode with Pizza accompaniment

ON ON to Kareas and a dream team of Bookmaker training the boys Up the Bumper and Mr Christopher by setting a trail of undreamed of proportions……..Nightmare on Hymmetos Street …….