HASH SHIT SUNDAY 23^RD OCTOBER 2005

VENUE : MARKOPOULOU

HARES: FIERY TWAT and MEN-in-GITIS

(Run 1448)

So the mother and son team step up to the challenge again and come out smelling of roses as usual….a grand walkers’ trail, a medium sized run, with an extra half marathon for the willing….of which we had 10, which in many cases beat their own personal bests ….and that is what hashing is all about, pushing out the envelope, raising the bar, growing through adversity and pain to better and greater human beings…….well if you let me write my own hash shits what do you expect? No one can blow my trumpet as well as I can.

Anyway we had a nice warm day for it, we set off downhill where everyone thought it was a falsey and hung back to regret it, then a long uphill haul past the quarry with views over the Markopoulou Olympic equestrian centre the same as the day of the Games……., except no horses. Then we had a couple of long F’s to pull back the FRBs into the hash crowd B4 we hit the S check so the shorter runners (no not the short ones…the ones who didn’t want to run so far….or at all, but come for the hell of it anyway) could turn for home and free wheel down the hill as the FRBs and a surprising number of chuggers who wanted to see if they could make it, looked onward and upward to the blue as is led on into the sunset…….to an extra 5 kms up to the monastery and round the race course until we hit the ON INN and sailed home…..except for 2 very experienced hashers who thought they knew where they were and bogged off together in the complete wrong direction Banger and Mountain Goat…not an expected couple but it takes all sorts and they were definitely sweaty, red and out of breath when they arrived back at the circle 20 mins behind everyone else……wink wink, nudge nudge say no more…..particularly to Shag and Mash eh?

So what an excellent choice for location of a circle, around a lovely little well in the shade of a huge plane tree quietly dropping its leaves to crunch and rustle under our feet……poetic or what, until the circle started to roars from Spanish Fly accompanied by the cracks of her new whip, brought in to uphold her authority and expand on punishments available to the GM of the AHHH…..we all stood silent and cowed into immediate submission and took heed of every word of wisdom from Sf and her side kick Strawbs…….erm another bit of poetic license there folks sorry…..actually everyone ignored most of the blather until we had the opportunity to set the record straight and MARRY Bursting Bladder and The Dyke, who have been living in sin since their Church and Government rituals in Holland and Norway……a HASH WEDDING with flowers and insults raining down from the heavens, with a few cams of crap beer to complete the ceremony…..good on em I say…..marriage must be good for someone, and we should keep trying it out until we find out who the lucky couple are and announce it worldwide so we can get back to indiscriminate shagging and drinking that befits a truly mature society …..oops slipped even further into a diatribe sorry.

Anyway moving along and the sheep were surely hoping we would soon, we come to the new naming rituals…..gone are the days of bum in ice and showering of beer, cold water and any available fluid hot or cold….nope we have developed as a hash since then and have taken a vow to never ever humiliate or discomfort anyone in anyway EVER…..so we named Heather our Hash Cash (u know the one I was having sleepless minutes over her un-namedness)……in a shower of……little dinky pieces of cut up white paper with hearts on it……..and then offered her herbal tea or a cup of cocoa for the DIO as we named her…….WET DREAM……???? Apparently she used to run a pub and the thought of a woman with control over an unstoppable supply of beer is every Hashers …..yep u got it……

And while we had the bit between our teeth we went right on and named Yvonne….in a slightly more traditional manner ( well she got a bit wet)…..STREET WALKER

Thank god that was over we said, all those traditions and ceremonies…lets get back to real hashing so we consumed a huge amount of beer, burped to excess and went on for souvlaki

ON ON to some other hasher’s idea of a hash next Sunday BUDWANKER stepping up to the post with an assistant I can’t remember but I bet it is a harriette of some description….in Papagou