HASH SHIT RUN NUMBER - apply to the Greek tax office for a AFM and we should be around that figure, divided by pi

MONDAY 4^TH OF JULY - apparently this is a significant celebratory date for our American brothers and sisters….so how come so many of them had nothing better to do than turn up to hash????

HARES : DWARF BLOWER and ONE NIGHT STAND….. a bit of confusion as to whether FU GASPER was involved or not, but that was probably due to various drug abuse problems we are not going to mention (other than this mention, for those who know what I am not mentioning).

VENUE: KEFALARI SQUARE, just round the corner from Pizza Hut, where we had a few parking problems and a few teenagers who got rowdier than us and seemed to have had more alcohol/drugs than we had too…..plus the hair was amazing…..strange choice for hash venue but no worse than our usual cemeteries except the residents were noisier.

God, that was a long introduction wasn’t it….probably best thing really, as there was nothing to say about the run other than ……no I am not even going to tell you about the hare pointing us in the wrong direction, the trail starting 2kms from our gathering point, no blue and an endless link of checks one on top of the other resembling a daisy chain …..so that covers and breaks ALL traditions on trail laying so BACK 2 THE CIRCLE

All the circumstantial affairs of hashing were well organised….so who needs a trail eh? We had haberdash for sale, warm and cold beer, awards galore, a NAMING and a bowl of specially prepared ice for the relevant bum….

Tag team of S4S and Maddog presided and we welcomed 4 VIRGINS, Sean from the UK now living in Athens, Effie from USA, Diana from Tampa US now in love in Athens with Dimitri from Athens in tow. They had trouble completing the trail (wot trail) as they had to kiss at each corner ahhhhh, and they said their favourite sexual position was ANYTHING that included each other ahhhhhhh! The last paragraph related only to Dimitri and Diana, not Sean and Effie too, in case my punctuation left anything in doubt!

We also had a visitor from JAPAN…wot a long way she came to buy a AHHH cut off top….which she was disappointed we did not have a in a sexy BEIGE to match her underwear. I embarrassingly asked her to spell her name when collecting hash cash as I presumed (how racist of me) that I would need help with her name LovShak….it turned out to be the common Japanese name of Love Shag of course.

Beer bitches Michaela and Venetia stepped into the breach left by us having no hash horrors to pour the beers. They have all reached the stage where watching grown ups behave like toddlers in no longer pant peeingly funny to them anymore.

So toddler S4S had found a new toy to enliven the DIOs in the shape of funny snow spray…..hahahahah…..well I thought it was funny, and as one after the other AHHHers stepped up for humiliation they left the circle looking like leftover xmas decorations. Hope the photos come out, which one of our newer boots John was happy flashing….about time too as our Hash Flash seems to be on holiday permanently.

So the hares got the DIOs and looked like sad fairies….

One Nite came back again and got her 25^th run badge…..or ‘walk, but never uphill ‘cos she gets vertigo’ badge in her case…..and looked like a snow storm……later turning into a blizzard and right b4 the on on, a white out…..

The Hash Shit of the Week moved on from Clitoria, who had added air freshener as we all know Yankies stink…..to Mr Cool Michael from the US Embassy and barely had he swallowed his DIO b4 he was back in the circle to be named…….

Some poncey chap had brought him a stool to sit on….how dare they? We have all bared our bums in the bowl of ice and he should be man enough for it too…..well he chickened out on the bare bit, but we made him sit for longer to ensure the ice cold permeated right through the tackle…..

As tradition has taught us we discussed the nuances of the names which had been submitted to the MisManagement subcommittee on naming, as per sub code number 69/47/03 , in depth. We rolled them round our tongues and got inside them and peered out to see how it would feel to be lumbered with such a name for the rest of one’s hashing career…..we tried a few on for size, passed them round and dismantled them and put them back together with a few odd bits left over as usual and FINALLY a decision was made and Michael was welcomed to the Athens Hash as a fully fledged hasher called BUDWANKER.

Ii was all a bit of a letdown after that, although we ensured Bookmaker took his own award back again, as he tried to pass it on to someone called Pali, when we only know him as Formosa Flyer.

…….will Bookmaker ever be able to get rid of his poor broken hash sign…. will he remember to bring it ever again since he got the Pamela Anderson dvd to take home with him, will S4S find anymore useless giveaways to hide in a bag and excite us unnecessarily about……will we ever see any of the virgins again………, tune in next week for the latest instalment of AHHHers and the Offensive and Non PC Singing, Beer Drinking Circle….. ON ON to Kifissia…(weren’t we just there?) and All Day Sucker