HASH SHIT MONDAY 13^TH JUNE

And in Greece Monday 13^th is worse than Friday 13^th and who did we have for hare?

PINK JENNY on her own …that’s who!!!

VENUE PAENIA CEMETERY CAR PARK which was particularly handy for lost hashers as we followed the hearse and the priest and mourning family…..which was slow but sure.

To a nice little spot in the shadow of the graves where we hung around a bit as PJ had other things to do and so came along late, a bit breathless and sweaty…with 2 AHHH virgins, in the shape of nice young Greek boys she had picked up while setting the Hash. They came in very useful later as they had seen PJ set the trail and so had more idea than us or PJ where it went!

Nice collection of Hash characters gathered and were generally noisy and irreverent as usual…..that may have drawn a little too much attention in the spot renowned for Satanist rituals in a very public trial 10 years ago in Greece….. more later after the trail report….

So PJ gave a short resume of her little trail pointing out that it was a bit interesting at first but went well after the 2^nd wind…..and boy did Strawberry Foreskin provide that to excess!

She waved her magic wand and sprinkled some pink fairy dust and off we set for an hours confusion as PJ rivalled Shiva for breaking trail conventions, and led us a merry jig in the shape of a 44D Berleigh BRA , you know the general shape, two large round pouches meeting in the middle, with a thin elastic strap meeting at the back. Not an acceptable shape for a trail, which had us all thinking we were shortcutting or doing it backwards, and kept us together as we all tried to work out where on earth we could go next. Never mind when there were miles of trail with no PINK as we had the Virgins to say it must be this way as PJ had passed their houses and gone through their mum’s backyard…….but we all made it back in Strawberry’s slipstream and settled down to a good circle.

Beer drinking was a bit curtailed early on ‘cos PJ had to go home to pick it up…but eventually we all gathered and toasted the hare and told her to take the DIO home with her as she is the slowest drinker known to man, boy, or tortoise! Hippy Long Stocking got the SHIT OF THE WEEK which FT had added a peg to for use when running behind Strawberry Rubber Buttocks. Hippy was the shit because despite being offered a pen piece of paper and plastic mug refused to step in as HASH CASH for the nite as she was too posh for the plebs job.

Clitoria scared the virgins and dire warnings were given on lack of hash gear ,so Jamie from the Embassy decided he should get himself a hash t-shirt…..but tried to get it on credit, him being a Scot an all, for which he was punished with a DIO, so double whammy free beer and free t-shirt, we will probably be inundated with Scots in the next weeks…..

Oxymoron turned up especially late, on his motorbike, which Bookmaker promptly stole and drove to the top of the hill to give Oxy some exercise. But what was this….Oxy making a gallant effort to run after the bike and going very red in the face screaming for mercy and understanding…..we found out later he had his briefcase with the airport security codes in it and was wondering which continent he could emigrate to if he was found to be responsible for their loss!!!

Anyway slowly the sun set and tired hashers moved off to the taverna with swimming pool PJ had organised, until it was just the very tail end of Oxy, Bookie and FT having a last beer before wending our way home…….

BUT WHAT WAS THIS…suddenly we were bathed in eerie blue light and lots of screaming and pounding feet accompanied a cry of ‘AKINITA!’ ‘DON’T MOVE’……..KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!!.......we looked at each other and decided to finish our beers before our imminent arrest….not an unusual story on the Athens Hash, but we needed to decide which of Embassy buddies would be sober enough at the taverna to be able to come and bail us out.

The plain clothes officers approached warily and demanded our IDs . I asked to go and get mine from the car but was told to wait for an escort and to make no sudden moves! Obviously my reputation has spread far and wide after the Cardiff Interhash!

We went to the car where the boot is full of empty beer cans and I am grilled about the ITA organization….ITA ??? Never heard of it…… KKK maybe, IKA possibly, might even be aware of OA if pushed, but ITA officer no idea…… He insisted we were members of the secret organization using the ITA on our cars and leaving signs on lampposts and he demanded to know what it all meant and NOW! So I proceeded to explain we were a harmless drinking group with a running problem, who met in different places, not necessarily graveyards and put up the HHH sign…….oh dear OOPs, yep got it now, ITA capital letter in Greek H!!!!

All solved then, no problem, all friends now….can I go home then? Yes you can go BUT those 2 men can stay for questioning, so in the best tradition of the AHHH I left toute suite, taking what was left of the beer and leaving my buddies in the shiggy….. where Oxy proceeded to sell his motorbike, making no mention of the security codes , which I am sure would have pushed up the price, and the boys in blue shared a beer before popping off to check out the local granny swapping meeting in downtown Paenia.

ON ON to CLITORIA and PSYCHO MIKE somewhere.