HASH SHIT SUNDAY 31^ST OCTOBER

HARES :THE GOLDILOCKS TWINS AND THE THREE BEARS……on Halloween……be scared……..

We gathered on another sunny Sunday on Varkiza beach, surrounded by the bronzed bodies of windsurfers who splashed and frolicked in the foam…..so I didn’t take much notice of anything else until the horn was blasted and the circle called to order.

We gave thanks to our Religious Advisors RAs for yet again supplying us with wonderful weather to lounge around at the beach and drink huge amounts of beer to ensure we did not dehydrate…….then some daft bastard reminded us we had to run in 70% humidity and we prayed for a short flat run with no falsies and plenty of checks to allow us to regroup and get our breath. Not exactly what we got……

We had a team of hares for this week’s run, led by Goldilocks 1 Triple Sex and her 3 bear cubs, Martini Man, Golden Fleece and Sid Vicious, and aided and abetted by Flutterby (Goldilocks 2), who had spent the week cooking up the new flour for the Blonde Run….flour …..turmeric……and gold dust….which explained the reason why there wasn’t a lot to be found on the trail. Flutterby also pointed out that Greek ants are very partial to a bit of turmeric and so they probably gobbled it all up….just like Goldilocks in the story…….

So there we all were plastered in sweat, squinting into the sun trying to spot the gold dust on the horizon….our throats parched from us shouting ‘looking, looking, loooooking (that was S4S from Lancashire) It was just like the film Ice Cold In Alex when John Mills keeps hallucinating about the beer as he crosses the desert with Joan Sims in a very tight nurse’s uniform, while being betrayed by the ugly South African who was a german spy and kept saying he needed to go for a sh….t when he was using his radio to give away their position…..u remember right?

We had the 3 bears along with us, but they had been sworn to secrecy…so no matter how much we pleaded with them to give us a clue after running 2km with no sign of gold they kept their mouths closed….god knows what Triple Sex had threatened them with…..BUT BOY CAN THEY RUN and so in the end they lead us round and up and down and to an especially nice falsie at a church atop a hill, where Playboy 2 was loitering with intent altho’ he denied any knowledge of the trail….no pillow talk with Flutterby eh eh eh…nod and a wink and say no more, its all the same to a blind man eh eh (copyright Monty Python 1974) Bookmaker armed himself with a hose to douse everyone as they approached….but gave up when he realised we all liked it tooooo much.

The run was a long one with the front runners getting back after 2hours and Sid V bringing in the back markers after another half hour….so Bookmaker and Mountain Goat are going to get severe competition in both the running and the haring stakes as the boys get better and they fade into the sunset…..

So back at the circle we welcomed numerous Virgins ( John from Earth, Gary the marathon runner and Joan from Portsmouth, , Lili from nowhere and Yvonne from Varkiza…so she had saved the bus fare).

Spanish Fly and Myself FT swapped the penis award again and Spanish Fly serenaded me with a new song:

MENOPAUSE IS COMING TO TOWN (sung to the tune of Santa Claus doing the same). I am sure she will give you the words if you ask nicely and you want to upset the relatives over the turkey.

Love Bug gave the Twit of the Week Award to Blue Nun for talking incessantly. Love Bug, Gregor the Coke Dealer and the returnee Fiona got DIOs for admitting they had made the mistake of coming an hour early as they had not reset their clocks….just for admitting it….how daft can these girls get eh?

The Mis-Management Committee decided to do a quick kit check and punished all those attending without wearing Hash Attire….which is a bit unfair when there was no Haberdasher to buy anything from…..where has Gobby Biggles gone ….off with Ginger on a dangerous mission and not back in time for tea??

One of those punished was the better half of a ex JM and committee member S4S’s Lean Over , who was particularly aptly named as she had enjoyed the pina colada so much she had polished off 6 before anyone told her it was alcoholic…..

We closed the circle as she managed to down another one and made her way between the cars in a nice basket weave pattern heading for the taverna…….she may have made it before next week’s run if she keeps listing in the same direction and the headwind doesn’t knock her off course….

ON ON TO ATHENS MARATHON 10K and lets hope none of us do a Paula!!!

(C) FT