His return has a parallel only in stepping in dog shit. It smells bad and never disappears.

And so it came to pass the bastard returned. Enough said.

First, what a day! Weather great, run so so (joking), food eminently missable, the polo unfathomable, and I finally found out that Chukkha has nothing to do with mornings after. But I drift from the true purpose of this document. Which I understand is to describe to those not in attendance what you missed, and for those who were, how it is you can’t remember.

A late start primarily waiting for Ratarsed and Gobbler. Lippy described it as flat, full of checks, no falsies and off we went.

It was an easy-start short run to the first check. The hares obviously giving the front runners a chance for a quick breather. The initial 2 checks very easy to telegraph, particularly with blue laid 3 or 4 metres away. of course to falsies both. After these initial hiccups and the wastage of blue at checks, the run did actually turn out to be flat ( an unusual occurrence- an honest hare),the only eventful happenings were the energy demonstrations of the younger generation. Finally, after what couldn’t have been much more than 45 mins we were back at the cars (an Immac record ).Sorry guys I got sunstroke, lost a stomacheful along with most of my brain cells and can’t remember much more.

The Hares: Immac and Lippy

A Virgin Hare: Lippy

Front Running Bastards: Sebastian and Spume

Flying Club: Young Carl

Naming: TripleSex

Some crap about not reversing shirts: Can’t remember who

The third Triple: Jason

Toga upside down: Mad Dog

New Shoes and Socks: Immac

Sexy Nudes: Shiva and Can’t Get Laid

False Claims: Mad Dog

Shit of the Week: Constipated

Who is Jack Schitt?

An Explanation -Still on the Theme of Shit

The lineage finally revealed so that when someone says you don’t know Jack Schitt you have a ready response.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O.Schitt. Awe Schitt the fertilizer magnate married O.Schitt the owner of Needeep N.Schitt Inc.

Their only son Jack, married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children. Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt a high school drop out.

However after 15 years of marriage Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two other of the 6 children Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony

The wedding placement in the local rag announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull the prodigal son left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says "you don’t know Jack Schitt"You can correct them.

This family history recorded by Crocka Schit (Otherwise known as Constipated)