VENUE: Near but not in (this time) Marathon Lake

HARES…….who else but the terrible twins Bookmaker and Mountain Goat


Wow another year gone and we are all fitter and faster and able to take even more punishment than ever ……in the beer drinking stakes at least. We now have verifiably the highest alcohol tolerance level of any athletic group ever recorded! That must be worth something….another round I think? Slurp slurp…..

Oh yes and the running was excellent and generally we stayed on trail and went in sort of the same clockwise direction we normally do….altho’ there was a little squiggle at the beginning that had us all a bit confused….but it was just the combination of the senility and alzheimers of the hares …..with over 1200 runs between them and equivalent in DIOs……luckily they occasionally tried teetotalism and MG often has a shandy but never as DIO, so they are still here to tell the tales of old to us youngsters!

Fab weather must be blamed as usual on the officiating RA in this case AllDay Sucker so well done to the aussie bastard who got something right after the cricket then eh?

Just b4 the off Shampoo George turned up to support Founder’s Day as one of the earliest AHHHers….we lost him somewhere after the 3rd F so hope he got back safely?

Front running was mainly done by Rear Entry….bit of an oxymoron that eh? (no not that Oxymoron). Mother Fucker tried a bit of it too but lost out direction wise, too many times being on the wrong side of pesky little ravines….rumour had it he was following a very nice looking sheep but no further evidence was supplied to Hash Scribe so we will leave that story for another day…..(any information please only send it to my hotmail address as the company e-mail firewall will not allow any detailed discussion of bestiality).

Old hares are often fond of a few too many F's for comfort and an odd slightly extended check was in evidence too….despite MG bellowing ‘checks are only 100 metres so where the fuck are you lot going?’ as we bravely tried to avoid another one of their Fs…including the F off the F off the F which broke all tradition….and had a few sad bastards weeping as they finally found the trail on the track they had 1st had a go at! Luckily Elsa our token frenchie managed to hold back the tears as she bobbed off again for the 3rd time up the same track and if the French can have a stiff upper lip I think we need to see a bit more back bone from the British men!

We also had a bit of stream crossing but due to little rainfall in the last week disappointingly no one got wet and no swimming options were provided. In fact we crossed it so many times (5 at last count) that we should really have been on the wrong side to the start but magically it all worked out (probably I can’t count?)

We actually enjoyed parts of the trail and Love Bug enthused sooooo much about how wonderful it all was, and how beautiful the scenery was and how great it was to be alive and hashing with AHHH, that we had to drug test her but found it was only an overdose of adrenalin caused by the lack of excess alcohol the night b4….

Boff (that is not his name….hash or otherwise but it is something sort of like this and it rhymes with it, so it will have to do) and FT managed to miss the double arrow to the left for the ON INN and continued blithely on getting worthwhile extra lake views b4 MG took pity on us and called us ON BACK for the last killer uphill where we caught up with Pink Jenny (talking too much as usual) Cock’s Tail (listening more than is good for her) and Fair Cop (trying to pretend he was out of earshot).

So back at the ranch the walkers had settled round the picnic tables to test the beer for temperature and taste….I don’t think they needed 4 each to verify the suitability but u don’t argue with a hasher after 4 beers…..

We took our traditional FOUNDERS DAY PHOTO to send to our Founder Brian Grey as a xmas card so we hope that will warm his cockles to see us all warming ours!

All Day Sucker called us to order and held sway over a witty circle that was punctuated by MG whinging about his car keys (lack of) until it was finally ascertained that the idiot had given them to Spanish Fly to look after…..however he had forgotten to state in the terms of the contract ( remember she is German) that he would need them returned B4 Spanish Fly decided to go home early…….

Alice, the hash pooch with a rock fetish, caused hilarity while trying to pick up a rock 5 times bigger than her mouth and her owners Major Arsehole and Gunga Din had to accept her DIO as she couldn’t lap up her beer with the rock in her mouth!

We didn’t have any virgins so had to make do with returnees and hash shit was awarded to someone for something….I really must take notes…..(note ….remember to take notes)……all the while LeanOver moaned and whinged she was hungry and wanted to go…..and no Strawberry to quietly deal with her, so I had to step up and tell her to shut up or put up……I was very surprised as she turned to wop me one, so we left her in her own whinge circle……come back Strawbs all is forgiven ……well nearly everything….

On On to the MINCE PIE HASH….yup free mince pies and hot mulled wine in Pallini with Major A and Gunga Din.