HASH SHIT SUNDAY 8TH MAY
RUN NUMBER: who cares….except those anal types that do counting and probably joined up writing too
VENUE: MARKOPOULOU according to the hare but as we pointed out we were closer to PORTO RAFTI but that would have made it sound posh and the sort of place to bring your togs along to……whereas as usual we met on a semi building site on the side of the road
HARE: The Bookmaker AGAIN…..wot is this…are we in training for something?? And M-I-G for the walkers
What a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, temperature hitting the low 30s, not a breeze to rustle the underwear…..isn’t it about time we moved to Monday nights???
Good gathering, not a gathering of the good, more a good size, although not that we were all the same size, in fact we had a range of sizes…..but a fair sized group….okay I don’t do numbers, about 35/40 I suppose…..
We had a few returnees including Men-In-Gitis who as usual kept bouncing into the circle and demanding DIOs…..too much watching Winnie the Pooh and Tigger in his formative stages….shame he doesn’t use his energy on the run instead!!
We also had a Virgin, in the shape of Athina…..no not the city you dopes, the girl, so you put the stress on the a at the end not the th in the middle. ( private Greek lessons available at suitable rates from LeanOver)
We had a full complement of RAs in the shape of Strawberry Foreskin and Suck All Week which was good as we had a lot of business to organise after the run…..oh yes the run…….well I did half of it this time so I will give you a detailed blow by blow account (no not that sort of blow u wankers) of the first bit and let Mountain Goat whinge the last bit.
Surprise we set off UPHILL….when are we going to be creative about it eh? How about a nice downhill F to start which comes to the same thing on the exercise stakes?? Anyway I must admit I had a bit of fore knowledge of the route as Bookmaker has used it in both directions before ( he hasn’t tried it inside out yet tho!) This meant I really enjoyed the run cos I was at the front most of the time….but meant I missed all the action, which is always at the back…..
We had a string of checks to hold us together and Fuck U Gasper explained to Sam a newish boot that this was how the experienced Hare kept the pack in close formation. We then spread out over the mountainside, as the other tool of the experienced hare was utilised to its fullest…..the LONG CHECK…..so long you begin to forget what you were doing out there in the first place and start looking at the flowers and imagine lying in the shade under the tree…..as front runners give up and turn back from all directions, spot each other honing in on the check again, do the FRB shrug and go back checking again……
Our virgin Athina coped well at the beginning but tailed off a bit at the end and joined the knitting circle of the girls at the back that decided they would walk the rest of the way. This is not a GOOD IDEA on a Bookmaker trail, unless you have a miner’s lamp and camping equipment. The motto must be I HAVE STARTED SO I WILL FINISH running………..
So somehow I got LOST…..in the right direction….which I suppose means I was a SHORT CUTTING BASTARD, but I called not when I found the blue, so as not to spoil the fun of other hashers still on trail……
So over to hearsay. Pink Jenny tripped over while she was chatting up a shepherd, and had to have betadine rubbed all over her skin by 3 other chaps she found….she is losing it a bit though ‘cos she only got one phone number…..
Mountain Goat whinged that Bookmaker pointed the way to an F and then promptly ran the ON INN to come 1st on his own trail. Which is the greatest stupidity or sin…..any AHHH s listening to Bookmaker advice? Or COMPETING on a Hash even if Bookmaker has to cheat to win??? Votes in green envelopes with 5 euros enclosed in each to FT next hash……..
So back at the circle , down to business, which lasted a long time as the weather was soooooo nice and we took our time and drank at leisure:
First the hare got a few for various misdemeanours including setting the hash in his jeep using the hashmatic. Pink Jenny insisted on seeing it in action and wanted to examine it in detail as she could not get the idea of how it worked. Very complicated for a blonde to understand the mechanism of holes in the bottom of a tin eh??
NAMINGS : Paula finally got her name and a very apt one too. She had not turned up to her own hash a few weeks previously, and this was because she had got pissed and lucky with a Swede the night b4. FT asked if she had seen him either B4 or since and she admitted NO…..so welcome ONE NIGHT STAND to AHHH
Greek Lisa finally got hers too….which is sweet cos 1night and her were virgins together . We went for a literary theme and called her BOUBOULINA from the character in Zorba the Greek….(not the original Greek female freedom fighter). Anyone who has read the book would know BOUBOULINA is a whore past her best with very large JUGS so quite suitable for a hash name …
We did a few awards too….and welcomed Athina from Athina.
Then we retired to the taverna where we ate meat til it came out of our ears ( as FT did the ordering) and enjoyed the cold on tap beer (mine had an iceberg floating in it), and paid 10euros as it really was MARKOPOULON and not PORTO RAFTI!!
ON ON to SATURDAY at LOVE BUGS for some reason….party or some such poor excuse.