HASH SHIT Run Number 14………..
SUNDAY 17TH APRIL…Strawberry foreskin’s bday hash…..had to be deferred til he gets back from Turkmenistan …..so
HARES: THE BOOKMAKER and PAULA (supposedly)
VENUE: near SPATA….not Sparti and that was no excuse for turning up late Oxymoron…..
In the shadow of the ruined farm, on the flower covered cowpat we gathered again….at 1st it was ‘ we 3 meet again’ but then some others turned up….and many a squashed flower later we were called to order by the omniscient, omnipotent, omniathletic Bookmaker….as no one else from the committee could make it and his co-hare had got pissed AND lucky the night before, so he was all on his lonesome to organise the whole gamut of activities that is the AHHH….the beer chilling, the mug washing, the ice buying, the trail laying, the walk arranging, the lie telling and the on on ing .
So off we went following the hashmatic marks of tiny, perfectly formed blue h’s to find many a mega F…..The trail was a tricky vintage, set apparently to confuse and tire Bushman so that Bookmaker could come in 1st on his own trail…..so he even did his own front running….although he did not do his own Fs!
Nice flat trails made for the fit AHHhasher….shame there are not many of them then….Bushman racing Bookmaker for the lead, Banger with her usual springbok gait, Rear Entry chug chug chugging along….BUT who was this RUNNING UP THE HILLS …..Shiva, whose performance has been enhanced unbelievably……no idea what she is getting on the side but don’t think it is any banned substances…..we don’t have any on the hash!!
Bookmaker tried to slow us down with a river or 2 but we were not falling for that….most splashed through oblivious and then prissy little Bookie took out his 2 carrier bags and put them over his shoes……what a wuz!!
As usual he tried to break our spirit with his long uphill road ON INN but we all made it back with a smile and suntan……. but dear oh dear where are the walkers??????...... 5 phone calls that went something like this:
Spanish Fly ‘we are lost’ , Bookmaker ‘where are you?’ SF ‘ we don’t know’ Bookie ‘well ask someone’…SF ‘ there is no one here outside the German Greek school in Pallini’, Bookie’ is that where you are then’ SF’ I don’t know’ Bookie’ can you see the sun’ SF ‘yes’ Bookie ‘well walk towards it for 2 hours and when you get back make sure to pick up the empty beer cans from the circle before you come to the taverna…….
Eventually Bookie took pity on us all and the walkers and went and picked them up…….so we finally had a circle which went something like this:
Hashy Birthday to Rear Entry….we didn’t know him and Strawberry were twins? Marianne had got him a suitable present of……a bunch of flowers and some strawberries…..well it is the thought that counts eh?
The black penis presented to Rear Entry’s girlfriend Olga…and luckily Marianne was there to translate into Russian so Olga got the point so to speak……
100 appearances on the HASH for Oxymoron….he has never actually done a hash….except once on his motorbike.
Spanish Fly got a bit of stick for being lost, sitting down in the circle and generally being German…….
Cock’s Tale got a DIO for returning after leaving to go to Germany
Bushman got a DIO for …stripping off naked and having a wash in front of the dear old couple that live in the ruined cowpat house…..or if he didn’t he should have done…..
We actually named Marianne something ……I think it had BITCH in it but don’t remember the rest and as we did not have an RA of any description maybe it won’t stick who knows…..
ON ON to a beach bbq somewhere with the returned Strawbelly Foreskin who will be hare and officiate……….