We don’t get these very often…..a real live trail!

A few points to be raised to enlighten the less experienced hasher;

1. This doesn’t mean the others are all dead trails…..or that hashers die on them.

2. Nor does it necessarily guarantee that everyone gets around alive….when your name is on the DIO up in the sky its ON ON anyway no matter what sort of trail.

3. Live trails may at first seem like a time and effort saving device, but think carefully b4 u volunteer for one. As you don’t need to set a trail b4hand, you save yourself a trip BUT u need to know the area like the back of your hand (why do we say that??)

4. Only the fittest of the fit and the bravest of the brave should go in for these, as if u r caught by the pack, they nick your running gear and u finish it naked.

So what is a live trail?

A young, fit, able and experienced Hasher takes it upon him/herself to run the trail and lay it at the same time, being given only a 10 minute start by the pack.

So in this case we had Mountain Goat and The Bookmaker…..well they have the experience that is for sure…..bit lacking in the other departments tho’?! But they paired up, which means one can do the falsies, while the other does the trail to the next check… theory. In practice these 2 bickered at every corner remembering old trails and happenings and generally slowed themselves down with reminiscing and arguing over where exactly they were and where they were heading.

Back in the car park the hounds were baying and slavering to be off on the scent (and that was just the Harriettes!) They were held back by the forceful command of the Pop Up, Maddog and Strawberry 4skin…..oops ‘til they slipped their leash after 6 minutes and bounded out the gate in fast pursuit.

What chance did the poor Hares have? An unfair time lapse, a couple of VFBs behind them (very fit buggers), in the shape of BushMan and Wee Mac, and all those years of memories to wade through like treacle on the trail……..

BUT NOT ALL WAS LOST ‘cos as much as the VFBs spotted the Hares crossing open country (the downfall of many a fox) and were ready to shortcut to strip ‘em…..the higher morals of the AHHH held them back and they gave them the missing 4minutes…..or maybe it was just they didn’t fancy running back following behind the bare arses of the more mature hares???

So back at the car park we all rolled in and congratulated our still live hares and broke open the beer. We punished Clitoria in her absence for suggesting people take the scenic route via Varibobi, wished Maddog a further HASHY 60th BIRTHDAY, and said a tearful goodbye to POP UP, who is returning to Aussie land via Estonia…….

We were no rowdier than usual and very little beer had been thrown but little did we know we had parked ourselves under the security cameras and as I was presenting a temporary penis award (using a spare banana I had in the car) to Rear Entry’s Ukrainian friend/AHHH virgin, we were approached by 2 men in matching grey suits and security headgear. They had menacingly bulging armpits…..possibly armed in case terrorists planned to hijack the cable car lift to Parnassus Casino, and fly it to Cuba?

They were polite but firm and explained that thought we had the right to park our vehicles in the car park, WE had to leave??!! Our mis-management committee asked for a further couple of minutes to tie up our festivities, and play to camera for real, now we knew it was there. Strawberry 4skin had to be forcibly prevented from mooning the camera. We then did what any self respecting hash the world over would do……carried on regardless……..