HASH SHIT SUNDAY 9TH January
HARES BANGER AND MASH
IT’S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY….or in this case Kesariani…..or ROUND AND ROUND THE MOUNTAIN LIKE A TEDDY BEAR, ONE F, TWO Fs, BLOODY LONG WAY TO GO…..
On a fabulous Sunday morning that smelt of Spring, so in Greece we recognised HALKIONIDES, or to you English, the Halcyon Days, we gathered at a favorite spot in Papagou, up the side of Hymmetos mountain. Good venue, nice car park littered with used condoms and a picnic table for resting the beer arm on.
The sun had brought out a good crowd thinking they should make the effort to get the Xmas fat burnt off and see if there was any free champagne left over.
Banger and Mash had set us a vintage trail that made good use of the topological features (ups and downs to you) and had been especially kind to the exercise challenged by setting a 2 for 1 trail. As Bookmaker pointed out, when you have 2 hares it should not mean they each set a trail and then join them together.
Off we set on the advice of Mash that we should not stop going up until we met the OTE building, but then he kindly ensured that we all found the trail by front running it most of the way …..totally against all hash tradition, so we punished him later. After we had been running close to an hour and we were still heading away from our car park, we realised he was just making sure we would be home b4 dark .Self Service kept demanding a bus ticket home, but we shut him up when we pointed out he was old enough for a bus pass!!
We had a few retirees, some through injury (Suck All Week popped a hamstring or something) and others through lack of planning (Pink Jenny had to get to the airport by 12 midday….go figure why she started the run then eh?) We were accompanied for the full trail by various horn blowers and Gobby Biggles making enough noise to drown out a Zulu war cry. At various points we had to push through other Athenians that seemed to think it was okay to be out using the paths and trails of Hymettos on a bright sunny Sunday morning…..AHHH soon put them right , especially those stupid buggers that carry bikes up mountains(why do they do that??) We screamed ON ON and pushed un- ceremonially passed them in our urgent need to get back to the beer.
So a good while later after a nice ON INN passed the Attiko Odos ,( which had us all trying to scrape the toll together until we realised we were going over it not on it), and through the tennis club car park, where nicely turned out Athens tennis players wondered what had hit them, and Oxymoron was there to coach us the last 500metres ( we did not know he could walk that far from the pussy mobile)., we were back at the circle.
There we had the usual round of punishments doled out, including the hares, the shit of the week, chunder to the horn carriers, 2 virgins (Yvonne and Sheila) and some discussion on naming and re-naming as Suck All Week kept getting called Soft Cock and Pop Up became Toastie, and I tried to get Paula a suitable name…..like Dr Death or Syphilis….but was out voted as we had no ice to sit her on.
Pop Up then introduced a new system of mis-management to the AHHH…..DiMOKRASI….and asked hashers to chose between 2 or possibly 4 options on when and how and with who and why the Thessaloniki Red Dress, NASH HASH3 should be held. Voting became contested as to whether a show of hands counted if the hashers were not holding an Amstel at the time……Luckily b4 chaos reigned it was decided to contact the Ukrainian Supreme court to look into the vote and declare the guy with the bad skin the winner.
Just as we were about to close Pink Jenny’s van raced into the circle and out rolled Shiva, Love Bug and Gregor the Coke Dealer just back from their Himalayan adventure with many a tale of a shagged sherpa…..
More next week ON ON to WEE MAC and BOOKMAKER’s short trail suitable for walkers to run round for a change in SPATA.