HASH SHIT SUNDAY 12TH DECEMBER 2004
RUN NUMBER 1402 no arguing this week
HARES IVOR BIGGUN AND MOUNTAIN GOAT
VENUE KESAIRIANI MONASTERY
SATANIC CULT OF RUNNERS……..
Nice day for it really….shame Mountain Goat couldn’t turn up to his own Hash and left Ivor Biggun all on his lonesome. We gathered at the side of the road and slowly cleared the parking area of civilians by making loud rude noises and comparing injuries from the week b4.
All the awake hashers (as usual this was a hangover hash following Gobby Biggle’s Xmas Hash Bash) had noticed the ON INN just outside the monastery entrance and we were explaining in reasonable tones to Ivor Biggun that it made the whole hash pretty pointless if we knew where we were going to end up…..U STUPID F****B***** WOT DID U PUT THAT THERE 4?????
He tried to defend himself by whinging on about how the monastery caretaker (not God, but his assistant in Athens) had given them so much stick about the blue that they had had little choice about where to go. Apparently god’s local representative thought AHHH were a group of satanic worshippers with a cult of drinking blue blood and poisoning the environment in preparation for the return of the satanic one (isn’t that POP UP and he was back from last week???). We gave him the usual advice that he should have eaten the blue to reassure the god fearer that all was well….it works with the police?!
We were called to order by a plethora of mis-management as we had Pop Up, Strawberry Foreskin AND Maddog in attendance…the HOLY TRINITY one might say, if you had a conversation with the caretaker perhaps? We welcomed a very nice chap as a virgin and promptly teamed him up with Shiva to see what he was made of. We also were ecstatic to have SHAGFEST down from Thessaloniki.
Anyway off we jogged on a surprisingly well laid trail that was of a reasonable length, where no one nearly fell to their death, there was no bleeding (authorised or otherwise), and we all made it back within an hour (except for Shiva and the virgin but they had a very nice time too). Wee Mac enjoyed Shagfest’s comments about him being horny….until we pointed out she made them as he was carrying the horn not because of any fabulous endowments she had noticed. There was only one problem for poor incontinent hashers on this hash, lack of toilet facilities, which was the excuse for Pink Jenny going up the mountain past everyone looking for the ladies and Bookmaker’s excuse for missing a nice long F and shortcutting…..it is an age thing…the shortcutting and the peeing.
At the circle we enjoyed tag team efforts from the JMs and RA dipping in and out of the circle when they tired of their efforts to enlighten AHHH and make us laugh. It must have been good cos I can’t remember any of it …..other than me being shit of the week and forgetting to bring it and getting a DIO…..oh and me being virgin inspector as Clitoria was otherwise engaged, and me feeling gently round the muscles of the virgin…he said he wanted more….MORE sir (like Oliver Twist in the musical) Oh yes and then me finding wildlife in the DIO mugs…so in a way it was a satanic snail sacrifice, except luckily the snail was in Pop Ups DIO and he downed it so quick the snail got pissed not drowned…..oh and Pink Jenny got her 75 mug and was sent home to drink the beer as she took so long about it…..oh and Shiva got a DIO for taking the virgin into the bushes and we gave her a mug or badge or both (for lots and lots of runs I seem to remember 250).....oh and that new Aussie Suck of the Week ( or Suck all Week….or suck something all week) told a joke….can’t remember what about so probably a good one as I always remember groaning at the bad ones…..oh and S4S wittering on about how we will have the red dress run on a train to Thessaloniki in February when there was no point as we all know we have no recollection of anything b4 Maddog’s New Year Bash so no point to telling us til after that innit…….
FRINGLISH VERSION we came we sacrificed we drank….o….n…..o….n
On On to the Merry Old Mince Pie Hash c/o Major Arsehole and hopefully Gunga Din cos she makes the mince pies.