SUNDAY 17TH OCTOBER 11AM
RUN NUMBER (dunno but don’t worry ‘cos Spanish Fly will have calculated, tabulated and recorded it in triplicate)
CO-HARES : FIERY TW*T and MEN-IN-GITIS
VENUE :A carefully chosen spot on the side of Hymmetos near Vari which due to its military significance is unmapped….watch out for the bones and mine fields!
We gathered in dribs and drabs that developed into a torrent, as the sun came out and AHHH members woke up to the idea that this would obviously be one of the best trails of the year, if not the century, as the hares were well known for their athletic prowess, ingenuity and charm, yes it was FT and son of FT MIG!!
Hashers gathered from far and wide. 2 visitors had flown in especially from Cairo, a big tough looking chap (ex US police) 5th Amendment and his sidekick Last Call. They endeared themselves by giving away Cairo Hash t shirts to all Hash Horrors and any nice looking girls with big endowments….so I didn’t get one of course!
We had 3 new boots, intelligent women from Greece, Lisa and Ani who turned up so late they had to do their own trail, and Paula, who was very well behaved, following MIG on his own made up trail up and down the goat tracks. He said he liked her a lot and she could come again…….he is 12 now so waking up to the extra-curricular activities possible on the Hash……
So to the run, which headed off UP a steep climb with Thrush whinging at the back…’this is a falsie’….but it wasn’t so he had some catching up to do! The trail was so well laid that even Mountain Goat got all the checks wrong and did one of his famous long cuts to join us from the opposite direction 30 minutes after he had disappeared. As we chugged under 3 pylons we passed a section recently burnt off, and hash wit piped up…..must be Fiery Tw*t spontaneously combusting again!
The most serious transgression on the run itself was by the SCBs (short cutting bastards) Maddog, who finally jogged a bit when he realised he was leading the pack, Mountain Goat, fresh from his catch up coming round the wrong side of the mountain, and the worst offender Thrush. He not only blatantly ignored calls of ON BACK, but in doing so abandoned his Hash Horrors, Tortoise and Shaggy Dog on the trail without a 2nd thought…..he smelt beer and forgot he had ever had sex, let alone fathered 2 horrors.
Back at the circle we had further horror abuse as Delhi Boy used his son as a run excuse. How could he possibly leave his horror to enjoy himself picking up bones and riding his bike? (i.e. having fun without dad) and run for the 1st time since the InterHash in July!! DIO big time!
We had a good turn out of rare hashers, Kum Kwik with Mrs Kum Kwik ( who remembering the tradition of ‘no sex on the Hash’ had arrived in full post-coital flush!) Cock’s Tale had brought the bike and parked it in the most obstructive spot allowing only difficult access to the car boot full of beer.
We also had FU Gasper, who had gasped his way round and seems to be holding up well without Dwarf Blower, although he has some friction burns on both hands…..
On to the awards, which are now in complete control, as Spanish Fly has taken up a Masters degree in Hashing and has double checked all the figures, is writing a thesis entitled ‘Development of Hash Websites Over the Ages’ and is keeping Maddog under tight leash. Spanish received the Penis award from Blue Nun, in an attempt to distract her from this fixation and help her chill out.
Maddog had spent all week practicing not being boring, and making a wonderful new Shit Of the Week Award. The toilet seat is now silver and has been carefully drilled full of holes to allow each Shit to add their own item every week. Maddog presented it to Titty Licker for a non-boring reason (just can’t remember it now). The Bookmaker stepped in to help Maddog run the circle as our other JM and both RAs had pissed off. His one action was to ensure that the circle enjoyed watching FT get a record 5 DIOs, ( hare DIO, 100 run badge DIO, Veteran Hare Tshirt DIO, lost property DIO and lost car DIO) each one to the raucous strains of ‘
THANK GOD SHE FINALLY SHUTUP
SHE’S ALWAYS F***ING BITCHING
SO DRINK YOUR BEER, GET OUT OF HERE
AND GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN
The idea being that while I was quaffing my beer I would not be able to speak…..it didn’t last long tho!!
25 run badges were presented to Spanish Fly, Blue Nun and the American duet of Multiple Rocket Launcher and Pubic Transport.
Maddog was most upset that a hash award mug was used in a ‘most irregular manner’, what a lovely turn of phrase he has….he could do costume drama on the BBC….Little Women perhaps??
Love Bug managed to fleece the Bookmaker, who had opened betting on her bra colour and didn’t offer odds on PINK!
Finally a note to recognise the sporting action of new boot LISA, who on being told she should only have drunk or worn her beer from her Virgin DIO, returned to the circle and poured her own beer on her head!!
Let all AHHH members follow her example and WASTE NO MORE BEER
ON ON 2 Dionysos with Shiva and Formosa Flyer