HASH SCRIBE FIERY TWAT (more on this later is anyone cares)

Saturday hare Bookmaker venue Paleochora

Sunday hares Pop Up and Playboy 2 venue back streets of Aegina town


So here goes a slightly below par HASH SHIT, not because this wasn’t a fabulous weekend on AHHH……but because FT (me) got so wrecked on Friday nite that the rest of the weekend is a bit of a haze…..a green haze and views of the toilet head down. At least my co Hashers were extremely supportive and ensured that I never felt alone while puking my way round the trail, and their shouts of encouragement are still ringing in my ears. Just wait til anyone else has a hangover to speak of……god will they PAY BIG TIME.

So to Saturday…..starting with a fun bus ride to Agios Nektarios where the faithful went to light a candle at the monastery and the AHHH came to have a quick run before a piss up and on to further drinking and partying…..oh but I get to write about the interesting bit…..the run.

Set by BALLBREAKER BOOKMAKER he announced the various options, something to do with M and L but as I say it was all the same to me at this point. We welcomed the visitors early as they were Canadian and we always seem to lose a few of them on the run… was Twisted Bitch and her High School buddies from Nova Scotia….( I thought that was one of those made-up names to help you get the rhyme in the limericks .but no, apparently real people live there)

Men-In-Gitis was put in charge of the Honeys and puppies to do a short stroll around the 120 churches on the hill of Paleochora and came back with no voice ‘cos no one took any notice of him and wandered off in different directions for an hour. He seemed surprised and upset by this behaviour and Flutterby tried to make it up to him by giving him a HASH HUG…..yuk!!!!

ON ON went the runners and set off up hill and down dale….except not much daling to be honest. We stormed through the churches and over the windmill hill to the lookout watchtower for fabulous views all over Aegina. The runners were kept well together as they either followed FT ,thinking she was checking when she was puking, or following the SIT ON IT screams of Bookmaker, as he knew how far we had to go and was trying to save him self from serious abuse in the circle by giving us a break on the way round.

Passing the dog pound we came to the new invention of the M and L check….but how did it go ….was it M for More and L for Less or M for Medium and L for Long….a lot of scratched heads later the wimps took the M and the stupid brainless people took the L……I have to say there were a lot more Wimps than Stupids…… and the Stupids deserve a mention……Mustapha (after serious hassle from Love Bug), Love Bug, FT, Pop Up, Michelle the Canadian, Bookmaker and I can’t remember but I think there were 2 others…..answers on a postcard to….

It turned out M for Medium gave a nice ON IN on uphill tarmac (2km)followed by a roll down to the cars for another 2km……so a bit on the long side for medium……whereas the Long trail took us round every other corner of Aegina not yet visited and plonked us on the road after 4km of nice forest tracks to ON IN along the main road for 2km led by our Canadian Marathon runner Michelle…..altho’ Bookie made out he passed her at the finish (not that the Hash is competitive in any way)

The Medium Wimps and Walkers showed due respect and started the circle b4 the Long Stupids turned up.

So to the Highlights of the circle with time constraints…..calls of ‘ the bus will be coming’ interspersed with the slurping….

We had a few other visitors in the form of a local Aegina family Jackie, big Nicos and little Nicos….they tried to remain in the background but kept being in the wrong place at the wrong time, as incontinent hashers tipped beer over their shoulders as if they had St. Vitus Dance. S4S is trying valiantly to teach AHHH that you either drink it or wear it….and if you chuck it, then he will make sure you wear his beer instead.

The Caucasian penis reappeared in the hands of Triple Sex and was formally handed over to Twisted Bitch as she was sure to be the most embarrassed to receive it. Little Nicos was given a AHHH t-shirt and then chased around by Clitoria trying to strip him…..he is only 5 and if he turns out gay we will all know who to blame.

All the JMs and RAs (gosh we do seem to have a lot of them these days….nice chaps, shame about the singing) had taken an executive decision to ensure that Gregor the Coke Dealer didn’t get BORED in the circle. They had devised various activities to keep her stimulated…..which entailed throwing cold beer over her every time she looked a bit distracted…..and as she had decided to attend in the HASH in her lingerie the boys got a clear view of HOW stimulated she got.

We tied the circle up quickly as the bus approached and our standby HASH FLASH Can’t Get Laid….mislaid his camera and Rim Job tried to be helpful by putting the Hash sign on the top of Bookie’s car…..a few items that had to be picked up later then…..



After a few last minute logistic problems with unimportant items like beer and ice we gathered under a nice tree on the end of the beach to compare notes on the nite b4 and prepare our beer temples for further worship.

We were on white and the new approach to TRAIL LAYING meant that we were to expect G.A.P.S. Playboy explained that these new features would be due to the fact he had laid the trail through busy streets on Thursday and not bothered to go check it again since…..No problem for him there then, as he decided to look after the beer and let Pop Up chastise us round. They were definitely going for an award winning trail…..either the shortest to beat Hamish McTAvish’s 10 minute lap of the Marble stadium….or the least amount of flour wasted on trail laying held by SHIVA where she didn’t decide to turn up for her own trail.

We did enjoy the ON IN along the harbour with everyone looking up from their coffee drinking at the cafeterias or yachts to wave in a friendly manner as we ran sleekly passed.

So back to the circle , in record time of 29 minutes after losing the trail for up to 5 minute periods on the way round……variety is the spice of life. And as Bookie pointed out if you added up Sat and Sun trails and averaged them out then the amount of running was spot on!

We had an exciting circle with good use made of the ice……..

First we had to drag out the NON PAYERS…..a habit which is becoming more widespread as Spanish Fly is altogether too nice and will be given a set of knuckle dusters to help her extract the huge payment of 3 euros from reluctant hashers. The sad fact was we had to make an example of the normally exemplary couple LEANOVER and S4S … one is immune and they took their DIOs in good fashion and turned out their pockets immediately to pay.

We welcomed Rear Entry back to the fold after a long absence and gave Pop Up an extra DIO as he is pissing off again for 6 weeks to shag a YETI….I thought they were all male but we are very accepting at the AHHH.

We then moved on to a NAMING of the nice man from the EMBASSY who jogs around like a fairy…..the options were Piss Pot Pete, Bouncing Balls and the winner TWINKLE TOES. He took his ice sitting well and only peed in the bucket once to warm the ice up.

FT handed on the black Penis to Blue Nun as she had been heard enjoying her husband’s (Titty Licker) attentions at 4am in a very vocal manner……don’t know what the dog was doing at the time, although its little paws could be heard tapping up and down in time to the moaning…..

We also had a re-naming as Flowery had made a good attempt to burn the hotel down the nite b4 and for this reason AND NO OTHER was re-named FIERY TWAT.

We had a late Flying Club award for Mustapha ( he had hit the deck on the Saturday) and a very sad joke from Where the Fuck Are We about Can’t Get Laid’s camera losing episode. It was so bad he was the 3rd one in the ice , which was now a nice shade of brown.

We then noticed that Gregor the Coke Dealer had been sooooo stimulated by the previous hash circle that Sunday she did not bother at all, but was sunning herself on a nearby lounger……so we went to join her and stimulated her AGAIN using the nice brown ice…….AHHH THE FRIENDLIEST HASH IN THE WORLD