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Date: 26 May 03 Run: 1317 Venue: Ekali    Hares: Cox-n-Balls & Who Cares   

Scribe: Two Moons Rising

To begin with the directions could only have been written by an arab. "Coming from all directions" what the hell !?! "keep on the track"?!! And it happened to be the second half circle to turn at instead the first, thankfully there was one hash sign to confirm which half circle to go "within". I think directions are much simpler in Amman, "Drive west until you get to the camel, turn right at the tent, and keep driving until you see an oasis". Unbelievably many people had found their way but they were in agreement that Who Cares is directionally challenged.
The surroundings were peaceful, lush with trees and a garden. A beautiful evening to start the first Monday run for the summer.

It was an unexpected surprise to see Preston Pete who just stopped in for an appearance before having to drive Gobbler's car to England. Does this man work?
The run started off late and within about 5 minutes we had our first of several falsies. Tricky arab! But with many checkpoints and the countless falsies (Who Cares actually felt pity at one point for the runners and called them back before they ran too far on a falsie) it turned out to be a very pleasant run. Running through a park, a forest with a soft springy floor of pine seeds, and streets with comfortable looking homes. And who was the holder of the horn? I could have sworn that honor was given to Rim Job but somehow he managed to leave it behind? Thankfully Cox-n-Balls did a wonderful job of sweeping.

The walkers were a little disappointed with their trail as it lasted for only 10 minutes. Maria seemed a little short changed with the walk and tried to find the runners but managed only to get herself a bit lost.

Upon returning to the house of Who Cares, Gobbler was trying to pawn off a few more of her pickled onions. That is just what I think of after a run, a nice onion soaked in vinegar, refreshing and satisfying! Tangy goodness!

The circle was in the front garden and Rim Job was given the first down of the evening to consecrate his newly acquired toilet seat from an abandoned shack on last week's run. He turned it into a luxury model with 13 pre-drilled holes to attach items with ease, cushions on the rim to reduce the pain of it digging into your neck when worn, and he left the lid attached so comments can be attached or the space rented out for advertisements. And of course he demonstrated the usefulness of the lid by advertising once again that he hated his name just in case no one heard him the previous 100 times! The Shit of the Week was awarded to Bookmaker for allegedly making moves on Rim Job's female friend at the going away party for Ratarsed and Gobbler. Cox-n-Balls and Who Cares were given their downs for being hares. Another down was given to them for being virgin hares even though Who Cares protested by saying that he had hared at least 50 in Amman. Is this Amman? The off-offs were shouted and Cox-n-Balls changed shirts in the appropriate time allotted but Who Cares once again showed his singularity by taking his time not to mess up his perfectly coifed chest hairs that can be only be described as being some form of arabic puff. And what is his attachment to that scarf on his head inside the circle? Clitoria took care of the infraction by subtley ripping it off his head, dashing it to the ground and promptly stomped on it. That will learn him! Once the down down was complete and he finally got his shirt on the scarf was immediately returned to his tanned noggin all wet and freshly dirtied. Since I was honored last week by SleazyRider with the highly prized Prick Teaser award, (I am frankly surprised to be alive since it was only after I had drunk from it that I realized that the inside was covered with some kind of slime mold and that it is only by the grace of God that I didn't suffer some kind of neurological damage from all the spores I probably ingested!) I bestowed the honor on Gobbler since I couldn't think of any other person who has teased more pricks. She then proxied the prick to Rampants in honor of a black prick that she had given Gobbler before. We also had a naming for Pornski's wife, Darcy. S4S said that she had been bitching about not having a name, she denied that allegation of course, and after being given a premature down, she drenched her youngest child in beer as she threw it over her shoulder! Poor baby! "Child Abuser, Child Abuser" was shouted as her new name, but when S4S made her sit in a tub of ice water her name was changed to Cold Pussy. Gobbler and Ratarsed were given a commemorative collage of pictorial hash moments behind glass to bid them farewell. Gobbler gave us a farewell tit flash as well as a farewell mooning. S4S asserted his GM status by fingering all of the hashers out of uniform. We also had a fingering for the spectators viewing from the balcony above, Stella and Costa from Greece. Who Cares successfully retrieved them and they were given a down. Dwarf Blower fingered me for stretching, I guess it was a little more of the hair of the dog since I was already working out a hangover from the night before. But since she called me by my nerd name she had to have a down too! And finally Mad Dog was given a down for arriving 20 minutes early to the venue. Early beavers, early birds, what is that saying?

The taverna was not prearranged so we were given vague instructions on how to get to a taverna by the directionally challenged Who Cares. Needless to say the turn out to the taverna could have been seated at a table for 4 since it was getting late and most of the hashers actually have jobs.

Two Moons Rising