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Date: 23/02/ 2003 Run: 1302 Venue: I still wonder ... Hares: Banger + SleazyRider
Scribe: Bursting Bladder
T' was a morning bright and clear... sixteen harriers and harriettes met in the vicinity of Kessariany, all of whom were still more or less recovering from Skinny Ass' birthday party. This was an impressive number in consideration of the directions given. Maybe four late comers should be subtracted. On the other hand there were probably a significant number of no shows of which only Camel Toe was officially reported. People were obviously confused with the varieties of versions of English applied in the directions and interpreted looking out "after Kareas" as looking out for Kareas on the other hand only the 16 reported interpreted ..."Carry on down" as actually: "go up"..
With no virgins present there was no need for in-dept explanation of signs. Snowball was given the task of horning and your humble scribe was asked to take notes.... and without further nonsense, which by the way no one expected as we all know that ........"Ordnung muss sein"...... the pack was loose.
After that most expectations came true. With a German hare most things are predictable, that is with exception for directions: Mountain Goat was FRB, as expected, (for once the hares took sweeping seriously) - and the first falsie led to normal enthusiasm. Nothing unpredictable there. Then there was a small "forest group" of information signs explicitly prohibiting most activities - including horning, which made Snowball's diplomatic immunity come in handy. There was fortunately no explicit ban on harriers although hunting was clearly pointed out as illegal. Thus, balancing on the edge of local laws the pack stormed through the forest on tracks so steep, stony and muddy that if someone had thrown in an explosion now and then, "Die hard II" would look like a picnic in comparison. The greek stoic tradition could be observed among the numerous native hikers, out to harvest snow for their hood/bonnet figures. They neither laughed nor frowned at us. On the other hand: neither did we at them.
When after one hour and a half we reached an altitude where pines no longer
thrived, the pack praised the view - in lack of anything else to praise - and
exchanged estimates on how long it would take to the on inn. Despite temperature
that made the snow dry, no one complained about the frost, not even Snowball
or Mountain Goat that proudly flashed their hind calves.
Well, what goes up etc.... and after another falsie that might have taken FRB Mountain Goat to the top, if the hares had not shown mercy and speeded to brush snow off their F-sign, the descent began. Apart from the bad language caused by these incidents there were nothing - I mean absolutely nothing - to report in terms of violations. Pathetic not to say ridiculous. Resorts to desperate solutions like calling people to in the circle for not giving up their citizenship on Sundays says it all. Despite a series of candidates, quite apt, the scribe swears there was not even the slightest trace of sex on the trail. When it was wet this had quite other reasons, and not only that Kellogg wet it on several occasion for which his master was severely punished in addition to being baptised. Several suitable names were suggested, ranging from "Corn Flakes" to "Porn Flakes". Drugged from a potion of warm rakija with honey - and ice cold - if not slushy Faxe, yours truly can not recall the result, but from here on and ever after he shall be known as some flaky stuff.
I would take the opportunity to extend my best wishes of a speedy recovery from those still in bed after the coldest circle ever recorded - in Athens that is. The tavern on the other hand was warm and also nice - till the singing began. A Greek group of mourners, deemed by their songs, were rewarded with a loud and heartening performance of the hymn, sung in several keys - almost simultaneously. For a much-appreciated change the food was fishy and only disappeared too fast. At the Finnish the rest of the Scandinavians were still waiting for the main course. More wine and more singing kept them reasonably quiet however, and it all ended amicably, to the best of my recollection that is...
Yours truly BB